How I measure Success
Let's talk about self image. How do you see yourself. Forget how you think others see you. How do you see yourself.
Self image goes hand in hand with attitude about life and how it will turn out. If I looked at myself as a person with a disability, would I have accomplished the things I have?
Recently a person with a mental disability knocked a coat off its hook and when I mentioned it, he said he was handicapped and couldn't pick it up. He is not physically handicapped but looks at his whole life as a handicapped person.
I personally think of myself as Handicapable. I can do lots of things. Some may take more time. Some may have to be tackled from a different angle. Some I may even have to ask for a little help, (using a screw driver as my hands shake so bad I can't hold it on the screw) but I get it done.
Let us all endeavor to reach for our limits. Give things the "old college try". If you won't see yourself as successful, no one else will and you will certainly miss out on so many great opportunities this life has to offer.
Yessir, I use my ruler. Mine doesn't have increments of inches, feet, yards, etc. It has measurements that fit me. My ruler changed on the day of my brain injury, but it seems to me that a lot of people could benefit through the use of my ruler, measuring tool.
I am by my ruler a successful human being. I work with my wife and she aids me when I need the help. I am also able to aid her when she is having problems that she can't handle.
No, there are things I can not do, things that would take lots of training for me to eventually catch on too. Some of those things I must add, are things that others might find easy to do. Makes no difference to me, I use my ruler to measure my success.
Find what makes you happy and measure your success from there, using your own ruler.
I was ask by a friend recently, What defines me? I sat here thinking and not coming up with much so thought I would start writing and see what comes from this excersise.
When I feel I have very little to give to others I feel somewhat depressed. I read other peoples posts. I read motivational material on other blogs and inspirational sites. I search out things that mean something to me. I know that if I search hard enough that I will find what I am looking for. Patience is what is needed when you have nothing to give.
When I feel like I have something to say, something to give, it is my Attitude that clears the way. There are times when giving can be in a material way, and other times when it is emotional. I can only hope that I express my thoughts in a way that can be understood by those who come accross them.
Two things define who you are: Patience
when you have nothing to give and Attitude when you are blessed with something to give.
Surviving Together After Stroke
During the first few weeks and months after a stroke, survivors and their families go through a wide range of emotions such as fear, depression, loneliness and anger. All of these feelings are normal.
Your loved one may have a fear of dying or experiencing pain. Many survivors are very sensitive to changes in their body, such as twinges of pain or increased fatigue. They may cry easily or become angry without reason. Don't take these things personally. Some of these emotions are the direct result of the stroke. Others are a natural part of the recovery process.
In the beginning it's difficult to find a balance between doing too much or not enough. You want to encourage independence but also be realistic. Some survivors develop an unnecessary dependence on their spouse or other family members — often because they're afraid. At the same time, some caregivers take too much control of the loved one's recovery — not allowing the survivor to become independent. Your job is to find the delicate balance between pushing your loved one to the next stage of recovery and gently helping them understand and accept new limitations.
Depression is common after a stroke. Generally, the depression is mild and short-lived. However, a more serious depression can develop. As caregiver, it's important to watch out for signs of depression that make it difficult for your loved one to provide self-care. It can decrease motivation and significantly increase the risk of future health problems. Studies suggest that depressed people are at higher risk for another stroke. Fortunately, this depression can be treated.
A majority of us will be caregivers at some point in our lives. As loved ones age, debilitating disease, chronic health conditions or simple frailty can soon follow. While some employ paid providers, most rely on unpaid assistance from families, friends and neighbors. Assuming the duties of a caregiver can be extremely stressful. The caregiver burden can lead to fatigue and ultimately over time can cause depression. Having a strong network of support can help! Remember, in order to care for others, you have to care for yourself!
Rights Of A Care Giver
I have the right to:
⦁Take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will enable me to take better care of my loved one.
⦁Seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
⦁Maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can for this person, and I have the right to do some things for myself.
⦁Get angry, be depressed and express other difficult emotions occasionally.
⦁Reject any attempt by my loved one (either consciously or unconsciously) to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression.
⦁Receive consideration, affection, forgiveness and acceptance from my loved one for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
⦁Take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it sometimes takes to meet the needs of my loved one.
⦁Protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me when my loved one no longer needs my full-time help.
⦁Expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?
Copyright 1996 Linda Ellis